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Post by Michael Brentley on Mar 29, 2010 23:38:28 GMT -5
Michael felt foolish for acting the way he did, but he couldn’t seem to help it. He had told Summer not to worry about him being jealous or anything like that, but he was certain that that was just one of the many emotions he was feeling right now. It was hard to hide it, but it would probably be considered odd if he had acted as if nothing had happened that day. Despite having an idea of what would be presented in court that day, it didn’t take him long to realize just how naïve he had been. He had practically shook off what Summer had told him beforehand, thinking he could handle it, but clearly he wasn’t exactly doing well in “handling it” at this point. Michael did care tremendously about Summer and couldn’t imagine ever caring about anyone else more. However, it was far less common for him to express his thoughts and feelings than it was for Summer. He loved doing things for her and he definitely had a romantic side to him, but when it came to telling her how he felt about her….well, he didn’t do it nearly enough if he really thought about it.
He was sure Summer was curious about his reaction to what happened in court that day, but it was difficult for him to describe what he was feeling. Scott’s testimony was the most disturbing part of the trial by far. It was hard for Michael to accept the fact that he had once been able to touch Summer in such a way, only to betray her trust and violate her in the worst way possible. Knowing the effect it had on Summer over the years made the added details that much harder for Mike to cope with. It was difficult knowing that Scott was the last person Summer had given herself to, but he hadn’t given the fact much thought until after witnessing the proceedings of the trial that day. Before the trial started, Michael was sure that there wasn’t anything that could happen that would affect their relationship in any huge way. They had been through plenty of obstacles before this, after all. However, it was becoming apparent that Michael was having a hard time acting normally around Summer ever since the trial ended. He didn’t want to treat her differently, since it clearly wasn’t fair to her, but knowing the details of what Scott did to her made it difficult to think about anything else.
Once they entered the hotel room, Michael should have known better than to try and avoid the subject that had been stuck on their minds for the entire day. Besides that, he also knew that Summer had very little trouble reading him at this point, so trying to hide his concerns was pointless. He turned towards her as she stated that he wasn’t okay. She was right. Of course she was right. His eyes were fixed on the ground when she continued, feeling ashamed for having so obviously treated her differently from the moment they left the courtroom. He turned around fully and forced himself to look at her. It was difficult for him to put his feelings into words. Everything was so overwhelming for him and he wasn’t sure how to deal with it as of yet. He took a deep breath and moved towards the bed to sit in front of her, turning his torso so that he could continue to look at her. It was relieving to know she understood how overwhelming it was for him, but he guessed he should have already known she would be.
As he attempted to gather his thoughts, he lowered his gaze once again. He wanted to tell her what he was feeling, but he was afraid of saying something that would offend her or make things more awkward between them than they already were. Before he was able to think of something to say, his eyes shot up to her sharply with her next question. “No! No, of course not,” he said immediately, feeling his blood boil a bit just from thinking about Scott’s testimony. “I really…baby, I really don’t want you to think that. I could never believe anything that…bastard says,” he added with fury present in his eyes as he referred to the man who raped her. He hadn’t expressed this much anger about what happened to her until now. Before, he mostly focused on comforting Summer and supporting her in any way he could. Keeping both of their minds off of Scott was a priority and it worked well for them, but now it seemed to be backfiring a bit because Michael was now experiencing all of these emotions at once and was having trouble controlling them.
“I’m really sorry. I know I’ve been acting weird. I just…it’s hard, you know? To finally know exactly what he did to you, and to think he and that jackass lawyer of his have the nerve to make you look like some sort of…well, I don’t know. I just don’t know. I’ve never had the chance to know anything about…god,” he cut himself off, realizing he was going too far. Way too far. He had never allowed himself to do or say anything that made Summer feel pressured when it came to sex and he certainly didn’t want her to start feeling like that now. A hand was brought up to thoroughly rub his face as he desperately tried to find the right words. “I didn’t mean anything by that…I just want you to know that I am on your side one-hundred percent and have absolutely no reason to believe anybody’s side but yours. It’s just going to take me a while, I guess. And I’m sorry…I thought I could handle it. I was being so naïve before this all started and now I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if this is making any sense…” he continued, hoping he wasn’t making her any more worried or uncomfortable, but at the same time assuming that that was exactly what he was doing.
After taking another deep breath and attempting to clear his thoughts, he looked at her and slid a hand over the bedspread to hold one of hers, if she allowed it. “I didn’t want this to change anything between us, but here I am acting like a complete idiot around you…like things are different. I love you, Summer and I don’t think of you any differently than I did before. I want you to know that. I just have the images in my head that I can’t help and I’m trying to disconnect myself from them, but it’s turning out to be so much harder than I ever would have thought,” he explained honestly. He wondered if he should have kept his thoughts to a minimum, but at the same time he felt he needed to simply say what he was feeling, otherwise things might never be right between them.
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Post by Summer Jackson on Mar 30, 2010 23:47:28 GMT -5
Summer basically wore her feelings on her face. Everyone knew what she was thinking and feeling all the time and there was little she could do about it. That was one of the many reasons she found it so hard to surprise Michael with anything, he always seemed to know something was up. Mike, on the other hand, she could often tell if something wasn’t quite right, but at the same time he didn’t share his feelings with her very often, unless he just needed someone to rant to when it came to a student or coworker or even someone who did something stupid on the road. What she wasn’t sure Mike realized was that she had the same problems he did. It was hard for her to come to terms with the fact that Scott had been the last person she had given herself to, but she tried to think about the future when it came to that, which she realized was easier only after fighting with it for all these years. She wanted to realize that the next person she would give herself to was Michael, next and last if she had to guess right now. Looking forward was the only thing that didn’t keep her locked in her room once again, but Michael didn’t have the multiple years to figure that out so she was hoping she could help him through it, but that may not happen either.
When Michael first sat down beside her she shifted so she could rest her head on his lap, not sure if he would touch her or whatever else, but pretty sure he wouldn’t tell her to move at least. She wasn’t really looking forward to this conversation, and she did understand that what he had heard would have to affect him, but at the same time she wished that it hadn’t or that the conversation would have happened in the car on the way to her parent’s house and then they moved on from there. She wasn’t really used to taking care of him like she felt she was now, and normally she liked the few times when she got the chance to, but today wasn’t one of them. No, today she really wanted him to hold her and ask her what was wrong and why she was acting strange and then comfort her and assure her that she didn’t need to worry, but she knew that those hopes were impossible to come up with. He needed her now and she needed to help in whatever way she could.
When he answered her last concern she gave a slight nod, feeling her face rub against the fabric of his dress pants as she did. She could hear the anger in his voice as he spoke, which actually reminded her slightly of her father three years ago, but she wouldn’t tell him that, that might insult him a bit. Though she loved the way he normally handled the fact that she had been raped, just comforting her and never mentioning the man involved in making her feel so horrible, it was nice to know that the whole idea of what happened to her did anger him. It made it feel like he cared, which she knew he did, but at the same time there were times when she wondered just how much. Once he started speaking again she made sure to listen closely, even though she wasn’t facing him. She was comfortable, why would he want her to move?
“I know,” she assured as he told her it was hard. Of course she knew it was hard, besides going through it all herself, she had to watch her mother and father go though it as well. When he cut himself off Summer had to admit he had given her a little prick. Not of anger or hurt, but maybe it was shame or… or guilt. Michael did a great job making sure she didn’t feel pressured into sex, but there were times when words crept out that made her shrink down. She had to admit, she felt bad from time to time, making him wait like this, but she knew that having sex with him before she was ready would be catastrophic for their relationship and she was sure he knew that as well. Still, after hearing his words she did remove her head from his lap and down onto the bed beside him once again, the top of her head still resting against the outside of his thigh, though.
“Well, mine is the only side that’s true,” she said, very matter-of-factly, but still not looking at him. Honestly, hearing Scott’s side of the story was like something from a fairytale to her. It was full of lies and impracticalities and she would be nothing but horrified with the world if anyone thought that story was true, to be honest. Summer allowed him to hold her hand as she listened closely to all else he had to say. She honestly wasn’t exactly sure how to respond, so for a while just laid there on the bed, gently running her thumb over the back of his hand to let him know that she was still in the conversation, but simply had to collect her thoughts for a second.
“This has to be so hard for you, and I’m sorry, maybe I should have let you hear the… the story before but…” her voice faded off as she moved to sit up, leaning her back against him gently. “I’m sorry, maybe I could have handled this better, I don’t know,” she sighed deeply and turned to him slightly, breathing deeply as she realized she was about to cry once again. She was tired of crying, she was so tired of crying but she was sure she wasn’t finished with that for the night yet. “I’m not gonna let him ruin what we have. I refuse to let that happen. He’s taken so much from me, he’s not taking you too,” she said, her throat getting tighter as she spoke, tears filling up in her eyes, however her words were firm. She loved Michael too much to let him go due to seeing the trial.
“So… you have to be okay, and the sooner the better too because I need you. Do you…” she took a deep breath, “do you know what I could explain or tell you or… say to make you feel better, make it any easier, if anything?” she asked, finally glancing up at him, forcing a smile over her face. She went back to just resting against him before speaking again. “What is it? Exactly? Or do you even know? Is it just… is it everything?” she asked, unable to avoid looking back at him, catching his gorgeous eyes and held a feeling she wasn’t sure she had seen in them before. She looked away for a moment before taking a deep breath to say something she had been wondering since he had began to talk. “Is it the sex thing?” she finally asked, glancing up at him for a second before looking away again. “Or is that at all part of it? I know hearing that can’t be easy but none of it is true,” she tried to emphasize, reaching for his hand again and holding it gently in hers.
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Post by Michael Brentley on Apr 1, 2010 17:56:31 GMT -5
It was odd for things to suddenly be flipped around so drastically. For about a year and a half, Michael had devoted much of his time to supporting Summer and comforting her when it came to thoughts about what had happened to her. Now things were far more complicated than that. All Michael could think about were the images in his head about what had happened. How could he think about anything else? They were enduring a trial about how his serious girlfriend was beaten and raped by another man. It wasn’t as if he had just learned that such a thing had occurred, of course, but there didn’t seem to be much he could have done to properly prepare himself to know the truth about what happened. It is very possible that he would have been able to handle things a lot better had Summer told him sooner, but he wasn’t about to blame her for any of this. It was hard enough to watch her breakdown about it without having to give him any details and making things worse by asking to hear the story just never seemed like an option.
It killed him to see her reactions during the trial, especially to Scott’s testimony. He knew she needed him now more than ever, but he was having too much trouble handling everything on his own for him to possibly comfort anyone else. He hated not being able to handle this like he thought he could. He told himself he wouldn’t let it get to him, that he would be there for Summer no matter what, but now all of that seemed to be wishful thinking. He wasn’t sure how to explain this to Summer and it wasn’t clear to him whether or not she would be able to help by explaining things further. No matter what either of them said or did, the facts remained. Nothing was going to change what happened to her, so all that was left to do was figure out how to deal with it. Of course, he had to remember that Summer had been dealing with this for three years and if there was anyone that could help him deal with it, it would be her. That thought made him feel even more foolish for acting the way he had that evening. She needed him and all he could do was be distant and uncertain of what to do. Yeah, that must have made her feel great…
After sharing a portion of his thoughts with her, Michael wasn’t sure what to expect. He was nervous about where the conversation might lead, but he really didn’t have anything to worry about if he took the time to think about it. Why would Summer be anything but understanding about this? During the silence between them, he attempted to calm down a bit. He toyed with a few strands of Summer’s hair between his fingers as if it were some form of therapy. Mike looked down at his lap as she spoke, considering her words for a moment before shaking his head. “Please, Summer. Don’t say that. It’s not your fault,” he said as he shifted his gaze to look at her. “I’m not sure if there was any way to ease me into this. You did the best you could,” he assured her. There wasn’t any way to know if things would have been better had she told him before, but he was sure that either way, seeing Scott and hearing his testimony was enough to shock Michael and spin his emotions out of control.
An immediate shake of his head was given when Summer spoke again. He looked up slightly and felt himself get a little choked up as well. It hurt him to know that she would be worried about that, but he knew it was his fault for her thinking that way. He had treated her so differently after they left the courtroom that day, so it was only fair for her to be concerned about their relationship. He squeezed her hand a little tighter and looked over at her again after a few long moments. “That’s not going to happen,” he said softly with an affectionate gaze in his eyes, trying to hold back tears. It was impossible to put into words how he felt about her and the thought of being apart from him always tore at him. After the first time he thought things were over between them, thanks to her father, he wasn’t sure how he would cope with it. Now? Well, now he felt that something like that would leave him paralyzed. It wasn’t possible to live without her. Nothing was possible without her.
He took a deep breath and listened to her as she tried to get a better understanding of why he was acting the way he was. The truth was, he wasn’t entirely sure, but he had a feeling it had more to do with Scott than it did anything else. It took him a while before thinking of something to say that would make sense, but he knew he didn’t exactly have forever to sort this out. Before the words could come, however, she mentioned another idea that he immediately wanted to deny he had any concern about, but was that really true? Maybe it was the sex. Maybe he was just insanely jealous and couldn’t stand it. But it was more than that, wasn’t it? Was it the kinky stuff? No. He knew very well not to believe such an idiotic statement. Did he want there to be kinky stuff? That was hardly an appropriate thing to be thinking at that moment and he knew it didn’t really concern him once he asked himself the question.
So what was it, exactly? Was it even the sex? He looked at her and studied her gaze a moment before discovering a piece to the puzzle. “I think…I think part of it may be you. I mean…not you, but the way you reacted after Scott’s testimony. You wouldn’t look at me and…well, I know that wasn’t easy for you, but I guess what I want to know is…did you think I believed it?” he asked her. He wasn’t entirely sure if this would help ease his concerns, but he knew that was something he had been wondering. “I guess it just stung a little for you to worry about that,” he admitted. To be fair, it wasn’t exactly absurd for her to worry about that, but he had hoped she would know that he wouldn’t take to heart anything the rapist said. Perhaps he felt it was like some sort of rivalry. Michael somehow felt he needed to prove that he was better than Scott, when there was clearly no reason to. Or maybe he was just angry that Scott had delayed certain aspects of his relationship with Summer and he thought it was unfair. It was unclear to him what he felt, but he was determined to figure it out.
He looked away from her again, staring at the wall across the room in front of him. “Or maybe it is the sex. Maybe it’s killing me that I can’t have the woman I want so badly because he got to her first,” he blurted out, not really thinking about his words too much. The emotion in his voice was obvious and the lump in his throat was making it difficult to speak at all. “Maybe I’m afraid to touch you because I’m thinking the scars are still there…like I’d hurt you if I wasn’t gentle enough,” he continued, knowing he was being honest…maybe too honest. His thoughts were just tumbling out of him without any warning. “I’m sorry. I don’t know. I really don’t know what it is. It’s probably a mix of a lot of things,” he tried to explain, now nervous about how his words would affect her. “It’ll go away. It has to go away. I hate feeling like this, and it certainly isn’t fair to you. I want things to go back to normal, I do. I just don’t know how the hell to get there,” he finished, still attempting to hold back tears. He wanted so badly for these feelings to go away. He wanted things to be how they were before, but right now he was too overwhelmed to get past this.
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Post by Summer Jackson on Apr 5, 2010 23:44:44 GMT -5
Summer tried her best not to worry about what their sex life could entail, but it was a little hard, especially when they would go to movies or watch a television show involving some form of sex. She simply couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. It wasn’t that she was worried he would want more sooner than she would, she knew it would be respectful; it was just that she was worried that he may get bored with what she was comfortable with. Not to say that she would never want sex in any place but their bed in simple positions, but she knew it would start that way and if he ever wanted sex in an alley or, well, in public, he was out of luck, and the second he hurt her in any way they were done. When she really thought about it, she wasn’t sure why she was so worried. If he had been willing to wait over a year to have sex with her she was sure he would be able to wait for more interesting ideas when it came to their sex life. She supposed she would have to see.
When he informed her that she shouldn’t be worried about him leaving she just grinned slightly and nodded. For some reason that made her feel better, even though she hadn’t been so worried about it. She knew that they would be able to get through this; she just wanted it to be okay faster than she felt t would be if they didn’t talk about it. She knew being without Michael would be impossible for her and, after she had been attacked, she had always told herself that she would never be in a relationship when she wouldn’t be able to see where she would be outside of the relationship, but that was before she met Michael. If their relationship ended for any reason she would be horrified and lost. Michael meant more to her than she thought anyone could and she did feel the relationship was healthy and they were both happy, so was there really a problem?
As she sat there, leaning against him, feeling his fingers play with her hair. When he spoke, however, she jerked back, and gawked at him with wide eyes until he corrected himself when she gave a slight shake of her head and leaned back against him to listen to what he had to say. If he had problem with her just as who she was or what happened to her then they had a serious problem. Sure, she had blamed herself for what happened for three years and was shocked Michael still wanted to be with her because she saw herself as used goods, more or less, but she hardly needed him to say he agreed after all. As he spoke, however, she started to feel better, but just shook her head. “No, sweetie,” she interrupted, but allowed her voice to wane as she realized he wasn’t done talking. Once she was sure he finished, Summer looked up, still shaking her head. “Baby, you’re jumping to conclusions,” she said, softly. “I mean… I…” she paused for a second to collect her thoughts, sighing and looking away, but allowing her hand to rest gently on his chest. “I mean, I didn’t think you would believe it, I was just worried that you would, but that’s not why I acted the way I did either,” she added quickly to the end, catching his eyes, feeling her heart melt at the tears she found in his eyes.
“It’s just, I’m worried other people will believe it too and… I’m just so embarrassed, okay? That… that’s mostly what it is,” she said, her throat tight and her eyes tearing up. “You have no idea how humiliated I am. It’s awful and… and I know you have no way of… of understanding but,” she shrugged, leaning in towards him and pushing her face into his chest. “I… I swear, though, that’s all it was. It was me and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she finally finished, hoping that that was sorted out and he felt better about the whole thing. She rested there for only a couple moments before he started to speak again, and his next words made her heart feel like it had stopped beating completely in her chest. She pushed herself away from him and stared at him for a moment before leaning back completely and moving over to the edge of the bed, hanging her legs off it and resting her face in her hands. You know those comments about sex that just sometimes stung? Yeah, that was one of them.
She let him finish, nodding at the end of his words as she started sobbing into her hands. She didn’t know why what he had said hurt her to much, but she could just feel her stomach jerk every time she thought about it. Yeah, it was nice to know that he wanted her sexually and all, but saying that he couldn’t have her… just his choice of words was painful. She looked over her shoulder, to look at him and forced a smile. She wasn’t mad at him… was she? She didn’t think so at least. She was just a little hurt, and that was probably only because she had taken his words the wrong way, but she couldn’t help the tears that were sticking to her lashes. “I’m sorry,” she said softly, turning to look away from him once again and wiping at her eyes. “I’m trying, I really am. I want you, you have no idea, but it’s just… I don’t even know how to explain it, I just can’t. But I am trying okay? Just believe that,” she finished, still not looking at him, sitting at the edge of the bed and talking between sobs.
After a short while she did her best to control herself, but she still felt as if the world was on her shoulders and she had no idea how to relieve some of the weight. She needed Michael to be able to hold her tightly in his arms, tell her it would be okay. She needed some help through the continuation of the trial the next day, and she knew that the Michael she knew most of the time would be the best one to help her through it, but now she needed to help him through whatever problems he was currently having. After some time she decided she should continue, even though she was still crying pretty hard. “I… I know it’s hard for you, and I understand that, I just… I don’t understand why you’re acting so odd towards me. I’m still the same girl I was this morning, or last week, or that you’re living with in Pasadena,” she paused for a second to collect her thoughts and pushed hair from her face, which was sticking to her cheeks due to her tears. “And I do know that… knowing what happened can’t be easy, but I do love you more than anything and I was hoping this-this wouldn’t affect us, but,” she took another deep breath, but it didn’t help at all, “but maybe I was wrong,” she finally decided that she should just be done, because she wasn’t sure what she was saying anymore.
Summer lied down and curled up in a tight ball with her back still towards Michael, her shoulders moving significantly in her sobs. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She had been doing fine before his comment about sex and then everything fell apart for there. “If this is so hard for you… maybe you shouldn’t listen in tomorrow?” she questioned, never looking up as she allowed Boggart to lick her face softly, trying to calm her down. “I mean… I’d never tell you you couldn’t listen and be there and you have every right to know what happened but… if-if it’s this hard for you then… maybe it’s just not smart?” she inquired once again, still not looking at him as she wrapped her thin arms around the dog’s white neck.
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Post by Michael Brentley on Apr 13, 2010 1:50:30 GMT -5
Michael hadn’t thought too much about experimenting when it came to their sex life. All he really thought about thus far was what their first time would be like. He knew he wanted it to be special and he couldn’t imagine doing anything before Summer felt completely comfortable with it. He knew it would be the same when it came to experimenting. Michael certainly wasn’t against it and he liked to keep things interesting, but he wouldn’t pressure her into doing anything out of the ordinary unless she was comfortable with it. They had made it a year and a half without sex being too much of a problem. Michael knew Summer felt a little guilty for making him wait, but he really didn’t want her to feel that way. He was happy as long as she was and things were working out great between them without the sex, so it couldn’t hurt to wait a while longer, or however long she needed. He wouldn’t even think of leaving her because of a lack of intimacy, or leaving her at all for that matter. At this point, he was a little concerned about screwing up the relationship, especially now with how the trial was affecting him. He just had to remind himself that they had been through a lot in the past and there didn’t seem to be anything they couldn’t get through.
As Summer responded to his concern about her actions in the courtroom, he nodded as he listened closely. He now felt a little guilty for making assumptions about what she had been thinking It made complete sense for her to respond that way and she had every right to. It seemed they both had more than a few concerns about what the other thought about the trial. Of course, her concerns were probably a bit more rational than his. “Okay. I’m sorry. I know this is hard for you….and I’m probably not making t any easier by drawing my own conclusions about things like that,” he admitted with a sheepish smile. He really needed to be more conscious of his words. There were so many things that he did not and could not understand about what happened because he could never experience what she went through. If he didn’t think carefully about his words, he would end up doing more damage than good. Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to be catching on based on what happened next.
It wasn’t long after Michael finished his confession of feelings before he realized how badly he wanted to take back what was said. He was still confused and not entirely sure how to explain his feelings, yet he felt the need to blurt out these uncertainties that happened to be a bit extreme? On the one hand, it had to be a good sign that he was willing to share his thoughts with her like that, but on the other hand, some things are just better left unsaid, especially without there being too much of a thought process before saying them. He felt a sharp tug at his heart when Summer moved away from him and started to cry. Her apology was unnecessary and left him a bit confused. As she continued to speak, he caught on to what she was thinking. He hadn’t meant it like that, but thinking back, he could see how it could be taken that way. “No…it’s not that…it’s not that at all,” he began, trying desperately to correct his words. “I’m not worried about that. I mean…well, I guess I just mean I’m angry with him. You know, for doing that to you and forcing you into a life of fear. It’s not that I’m blaming you for not being able to…take the next step with me yet and I know you don’t have a choice in a lot of it because of how things affected you. I guess what I’m getting at is that I’m angry with the fact that he is the reason that you haven’t been able to live your life the way you would have wanted to these past few years.” It all sounded like he was pointing out the obvious, but he did feel that that was what he had meant. “I know it sounds stupid now because all of this should be obvious, but I guess I never really had a chance to experience how I really felt about it all until now,” he added, trying to make it a little clearer.
Michael wasn’t entirely sure why he was treating Summer differently. He guessed he just distanced himself because of how overwhelming everything was. It didn’t make a lot of sense, but he was still absorbing it all and was still figuring things out. He let her words sink in before taking a deep breath. Why was it affecting him so much? And how could he let it drift into the relationship? “I don’t know…it doesn’t really make any sense to me either,” he admitted. He finally moved over to her as he saw her begin to sob again. He propped himself up on his side with his elbow behind her and leaned over to place kisses along her arm. “I’m so sorry, baby. The more I think about it, the more I realize that there is really no reason for me to be distant. I’m still taking it all in and clearly, I’m not handling it too well,” he said softly. He draped an arm around her waist and rested his chest against her back slightly. “The way I feel about you hasn’t changed. I don’t want things to be weird between us either. I think I’ve just been focusing on all the wrong things.” He wasn’t sure what to tell her. All he knew was that he was going to do whatever he could to make sure he wasn’t making her feel as though he looked at her differently because of the trial.
His fingers were brought up to gently rub her arm as she spoke. He wanted to reject the idea immediately, but realized that this was something that he should take some time to consider. Sitting through that trial was an emotional rollercoaster for him and it would be extremely tough to have to face another few days of it, depending on how it all played out. However, not being there for Summer during the trial didn’t seem like an option at all. He knew the feeling of not being there would tear at him, so sitting through the trial for at least one more day would be worth it. Of course, if he wanted to support Summer, he would have to get it together before the trial started up again. He felt that was something he could do if he didn’t let his mind wander too far and kept himself from jumping to conclusions or whatever else. “No, I want to be there,” he said after a few moments of careful thought. “I’m here to support you and help you through this and that’s exactly what I intend to do. I know I have probably been making things worse so far, but I promise to be there for you from now on. ” He placed another kiss on her arm, letting it linger a moment before pulling back again. “Talking to you always seems to help, no matter what it is. I don’t know…it just made me realize how silly I’ve been acting when there’s really no need for it. I shouldn’t have said those things before. I don’t want you to think that I have any problems with what we have together. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Forgive me?” he asked, not sure if she was even truly mad for what he had said, or if she was just hurt. It always tore at him to see her cry, especially when he was the one who caused it. He just wanted things to be right between them, but he wasn’t sure what she was thinking or feeling right at that moment.
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Post by Summer Jackson on Apr 18, 2010 2:57:21 GMT -5
She hardly wanted Michael to feel guilty about any concerns he had over the trial, and really would prefer that he came to her about it then continue to worry about it. Of course she wished he would just understand why she was acting the way she was, but how could she expect that of him? She hadn’t exactly been open to explaining what happened or how she felt about it until now, and would still rather not, but she couldn’t really avoid it. He had a right to know. And that was the phrase she kept going back to, that was what was allowing her to follow through with letting him see the trial and hear about the gruesome details. This conversation wasn’t easy for her, but she had been preparing herself for something along these lines for more than a year now. Ever since the two of them had started dating she knew he would have to ask about it one of these days. However, she didn’t realize she would have to worry about the trial and the conversation at the same time. When they started dating she hadn’t been planning on going to trial, but she figured she would be able to handle it with Michael by her side. Just another thing he managed to help her with.
When he started to speak after she began to cry she tried to listen closely, but she found it difficult as she was also trying to stop crying, mostly because she wasn’t sure why she was tearing up in the first place. That wasn’t going to help either of them, but she simply couldn’t help it. When he started to talk about “him” she really couldn’t help but cry even harder, but pressed her hand over her mouth to try and silence her tears. She hated this, and she hated that she had been fine two minutes ago, if not a little uncomfortable. She continued to allow him to speak his mind, and when he finished she just shook her head, her now fluffy hair rubbing against her shoulders as she did. “Not that obvious,” she said glancing over her shoulder for a second before looking back without really giving him much of a facial expression. “I still don’t know how I feel about it,” she shrugged once again, wanting to explain further but not sure if she was physically able to without so many breaks in her words that he wouldn’t be able to understand her in the first place.
Feeling kisses on her arm after she had lied on the bed spooked her slightly. Her opposite arm came up as she turned to look behind her and saw Mike behind her. She hadn’t really paid attention to the bed shifting underneath her. Once she realized what he was doing she allowed her hand to run gently over his hair, to try and tell him she was fine with his movements, before moving back to her original position with a deep, and fighting, sigh. She couldn’t help but scoff slightly when he said he wasn’t handling it well. Yeah, that was obvious, but she wasn’t sure what she was expecting either. If she had actually thought about it then, yeah, she would have probably figured out that he would freak a bit over all of this, but she had been hoping everything would work out better than it really should. She allowed his arm to drape over and put her own arm over his, trying to hint that he should hold her tighter, but he had hardly been touching her all day, so what could she expect?
Summer nodded slightly when he said he wanted to be there, a slightly disappointed look coming over her face, but her back was so him so he wouldn’t be able to see that. She really wasn’t sure how much she wanted him to be there if he was going to ask like this. However, she wasn’t going to tell him that, if he couldn’t figure it out already. She didn’t want him doing what she wanted him to do when it came to something so important, so she was just going to live with it. She raised her brows when he said he wanted to support her, but relaxed her face when he continued once again, and actually managed to smile when he placed another kiss on her arm. She smiled through tears as he continued, but the expression changed to slightly confused when he asked her to forgive him.
“Of course,” she said softly, reaching an arm back to gently stroke his arm as she also leaned more onto her back so she was leaning against him. “I… I really wasn’t mad I just... I don’t know,” she said, her voice obviously still a little broken up as she spoke. She was back to having so many feelings running through her that she didn’t even know what she was really feeling about the topic at hand, and didn’t want to say anything if she would regret it later so decided not to say much at all. “You… you haven’t been silly. I understand. I’m just glad we could talk about it,” she said, gently taking his hand in hers and pulling it around her, holding his arm to her chest, but with her arm between his and her chest. Didn’t need him getting ideas, she wasn’t in the mood for much tonight. “But I’m not made of glass, you won’t break me,” she was still speaking softly. She just wanted to be held, and she didn’t get the same feeling when he wouldn’t actually keep her close.
For a while she just laid there, eye closed, resting her body against his and petting her dog gently behind the ear. After quite some time she finally decided she should make sure she didn’t drift off, especially in her make-up and clothes. “I could sleep now,” she muttered softly, finally turning over to face him, resting her forehead against his and staring into his eyes. “Unless you have something else? I’d rather talk about it now,” she continued, trying to show him that she was being serious. She didn’t want him going to bed still upset or confused if she could help it. That wouldn’t help the relationship, which she was the determined to do. Before he could answer she moved her head back to cuddle closer to him, not happy with the idea that she was going to have to get up in order to get ready for bed.
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Post by Michael Brentley on Apr 22, 2010 22:44:32 GMT -5
Michael honestly hadn’t expected things to be so complicated. Obviously, he hadn’t even expected the trial to have this kind of effect on him, but even so, he wouldn’t have thought he would let his feelings dictate his actions like they were. Summer deserved to know what he was feeling and what was really troubling him. He wanted to tell her, but now he was realizing that he wasn’t even sure exactly what it was. Now that he had more of a clear head about everything, the confusion he felt was slowly diminishing. It seemed as though all he really needed was to be able to talk about it. Once the trial ended, he didn’t feel it would be appropriate to talk about it right then or when they were with her parents. She had just gone through a major ordeal and talking about it could only add to that. However, he was still upset by the way he handled it. Despite his concerns about the trial, he was only making things more awkward in his relationship with Summer by treating her the way that he did.
When she told him she still didn’t know how she really felt about it, he was a little surprised. As much as he wanted to ask her to elaborate, he knew that she was having trouble saying much of anything right now through her tears, so he figured that was something he could ask about later if he felt it was appropriate. It should be very apparent by now that he was thinking out loud, trying to sort out his thoughts and maybe get some help figuring out exactly why he was feeling the way he did. At this point he had narrowed it down to a bit of jealousy, disbelief, and overall being overly concerned about Summer and thinking of her as being in a more fragile state than she actually was. That didn’t do either of them any good at all. That was what was keeping him distant. In the back of his mind he knew that she had improved a lot over the past year or so and he was supposed to be encouraging the strength he knew she had in her, rather than treating her like some china doll. Hearing her describe the attack that day was as if it happened yesterday. He was too overwhelmed to really think about everything rationally and since he didn’t have a lot of time to pull himself together after the trial, he ended up being unsure of what to say or do when he was around Summer.
He felt her hand on his and gently pulled her closer to him, holding her tighter than he was before, but certainly not as tight as he normally would. She clearly needed him right now and since he felt he was the one who made her cry, he wanted to do everything he could to make it right. They were both stressed over the trial, but in the end she was the one who needed the most support and comfort. He didn’t think too much about whether or not Summer actually wanted him there. He just figured that the only reason she really would have a problem with it is if it was a problem for him. It was more than fair for her to be concerned that he’d react the same way he did today after the second part of the trial, but he hoped that the initial shock of it all would subside and he’d be able to look at things more objectively. There was no way to know that, of course, but now that he was able to talk to Summer about it and knew how much it hurt her for him to act the way he did, it could very well change things for the better in terms of his actions.
It was relieving to hear that she wasn’t mad at him, but he still felt rather guilty for using such a poor choice of words. He wanted her to know that he had no negative thoughts or feelings towards her for making him wait or whatever else. She was doing whatever she could to give him attention physically and he certainly appreciated it, but he wasn’t going to expect her to be able to do a certain amount of things by a certain time. Mike really wished he had made that clear from the beginning, rather than running his mouth and saying things in a way that could be easily misinterpreted to mean something else. He really didn’t want this trial to come between them and he realized that it was up to him to make sure that didn’t happen. He knew Summer wasn’t going to suddenly be weird around him unless he did something to cause it. She had enough to worry about without having to wonder if his feelings for her would change because of what he hears in the trial. That seemed rather impossible before it all started, but now he realized it would be hard for her to be sure about anything after the way he acted that day.
A small smile appeared on his lips once she mentioned not being made of glass. He was still being careful with her, but he knew he really had no reason to. Nothing about her had changed from yesterday, so why should he change the way he acts around her? He shifted a bit and wrapped both of his arms around her, holding her against him and squeezing her tight for a second in the form of a hug before loosening his grip a little so that he wasn’t squishing her or anything. He placed a small kiss on the side of her neck before burying his face between her neck and shoulder. He laid there with her in silence as he breathed in the pleasant scent of her perfume. When she spoke up again, he forced himself to become more alert since he had been starting to drift off a bit. He was worried for a second that she was moving to get up, but soon realized she was simply turning to face him. He wanted to lay there with her forever, but he knew that wasn’t exactly a realistic option.
When she asked if there was anything else, he simply smiled and placed a small kiss on her lips. “There is just one more thing,” he said, as if he were actually going to introduce another topic to be discussed. “I love you,” he said softly after a short pause. He didn’t want her to worry too much about what he was going to say. That would just be cruel and rather inappropriate. He kept his arms around her, not really wanting her to get up, even though they both knew that neither of them would want to sleep in the clothes they had on. “I do feel a lot better now, though. I think we covered just about everything,” he said, deciding he needed to clarify that there wasn’t anything else he was concerned about at the moment. “Well, except the fact that we are going to have to get up and get ready for bed at some point…I don’t know if I like that,” he added with a grin.
Once they finally got around to getting changed, Michael wasted no time moving close to Summer once they were both back in bed. He held her once again, as if suddenly remembering how much he loved doing so. “Good night, baby,” he whispered to her before beginning to drift off. He was really glad they had discussed what they had. It was easy to tell that neither of them would have been able to sleep too well if their concerns were left unresolved. Well, he wasn’t sure about Summer, of course, but he knew that he felt a lot better about everything and was ready to take on the next day of the trial. Now, he couldn’t say he was excited or anything like that, but he was very willing to be there for Summer and to hopefully help her through it as he initially intended.
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Post by Summer Jackson on May 1, 2010 21:01:25 GMT -5
The reason Mike was thinking it sounded like Summer’s rape happened yesterday was simply because Summer remember it as if it was yesterday. Everything he did, every way he touched her, every word he said was seared in memory like a brand. She had been hoping the memories would fade over time, that she wouldn’t be able to play it out over and over again in her brain, that she wouldn’t dread going to sleep at night because she knew she would have to relive it once again, but none of that ever happened and, by now, she had given up hope that she would ever be able to live without the constant reminders. She couldn’t get away from them, the men that would brush up against her, the date rape posters in bathrooms, the girls she would see playfully pushing the men around them away, all of it reminded her of what happened to her, brought the vivid memory painfully back to the surface of her thoughts and simply wouldn’t let her forget. She wished that Michael’s touches and words and looks would be stuck in her brain that way, she would like that, waking up every morning to remember exactly how she felt when Michael touched her the night before would be a form of heaven, but no. It was, and she felt it always would be Scott that tormented instead of enchanted her brain.
For a while, Summer laid there comfortably, feeling Michael’s warm breath on her neck and pushing her back to his chest. She loved being close to him, and feel safe in his arms and this was the first time since the trial that day that she felt he wasn’t treating her differently. She could tell if something was wrong just from the way he touched her or the sound of his voice, or his choice of words and now, finally, none of those things were out of whack. In fact, everything felt right with him again, and she was reluctant to end the moment they were having, but knew she would have to if they ever wanted to actually go to bed and be comfortable. However, after she spoke and moved in order to look at him, she still regretted saying anything, even though the response wasn’t something she exactly hated.
When he kissed her, however, she wasn’t sure what was wrong but for some reason that felt off too. She smiled at him either way and licked her lips to remove his saliva that had been sticking to them before putting her face back into his chest. What was with her? Why did that bother her? Normally his kisses were something she craved and loved and she really hated that she didn’t like it right now. Something was wrong, right? Maybe she was tired or maybe intimacy at all wasn’t really what she wanted tonight. She couldn’t tell you right now, and she hoped the feeling would go away soon, or at least by the next morning. The last thing she needed right now was to be wondering why it felt weird to have her boyfriend kiss her. She loved him and yet a simple kiss felt off to her in those moments. Was it what he said? Did it hurt her more than she thought? Damn it, she was so confused, but she didn’t have too much time to ponder it. She had to pay attention to what he was saying.
“You always say that to get out of trouble,” she teased, running a hand through his hair and gazing into his eyes for a moment. See, that didn’t feel weird. Looking into his eyes almost made her want to kiss him, but not quite. Something was holding her back and that thought almost made her cry. She hadn’t felt like this, like something was holding her back, around Michael in ages, probably since they had that bad fight about his parents. However, she was going to do her best to pretend that nothing was wrong, and hopefully nothing would be wrong in the morning. She looked back down, her hands finding their way to his back and gently running her hands over his flesh. “I’m glad,” she said softly, once he said he felt better about everything. That helped, especially since, when it came to how he was dealing with everything, she felt better too. Maybe that was it, now that he had calmed down and she was no longer worried about the relationship she had time to worry about other things, which basically included how the trial was making her feel. She was confused and embarrassed and trapped and uncomfortable. That was it, she thought. She was uncomfortable and now that he had managed to calm down, she was letting herself feel that discomfort and that was the reason she was a little off… or so she thought.
Summer giggled at his last set of words and nodded, her face still pushed into his chest. She didn’t want to get up either. She felt safe, and we all know that is a feeling she doesn’t give up easily. However, they both knew they had to and so soon Summer kissed his cheek and encouraged him to go and get ready for bed first. While he was in the bathroom she, very quickly, changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt of Michael’s and then went to brush her teeth and remove her makeup once Michael was ready. Once that was finished, she kept the bathroom light on, as she always did, before going to join Michael in bed, curling under the covers on her side and allowing Michael to take her in his arms. She grinned towards him and kissed his neck once before closing her eyes to sleep. “I love you too, by the way,” she added, with a slight note of glee to her words. With that she let herself drift into a gentle sleep.
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The next morning Summer woke slowly after realizing how cold she was. She rubbed an eye with the back of her hand and looked around the room that was light with the sun falling in from the windows to see Michael with a cocoon of blankets around him. No wonder she was cold. She nudged him slightly and pulled at the blankets. She felt bad waking him up, and would normally try to avoid it, but it was about time to get out of bed anyway. “Babe, you stole the blankets again,” she whined after nudging him again. “Sleep all right?” she asked after she was sure he had woken up, giving him a slight peck on the lips. Even if she was uncomfortable just with everything right now, she was going to do her best to make sure Michael didn’t know that. It was obvious he already had a lot on his plate, no need to worry about her more than he needed to.
After some time cuddling in bed they both decided they should get ready to go, and Summer showered first because she wanted to give her hair time to dry naturally this time. When she was done in the bathroom she was dressed in gray dress pants with a purple top that buttoned up the front. She wasn’t finished getting ready by the time Michael was out of the shower, but what could you expect? Once she did have her makeup on and was comfortable with her appearance, except that her hair was still slightly wet, she went and joined Michael, pouring herself only a glass of orange juice for breakfast. “So…” she said softly to him, going over to perch on his lap, “I um… still feeling okay this morning?” she asked gently, resting her head on his chest. Yeah, it was getting to the point of being pretty obvious that she was, once again, getting very nervous. She still wasn’t sure why she had wanted to do this in the first place; it was scaring her more than anything, and not exactly helping her feel empowered, as she had hoped it would.
((hmm... I'm not exactly sure if I like this, but it's a post and it's up lol. Hope you don't mind that I skipped ahead, if ya do, you know, ignore that part))
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Post by Michael Brentley on May 15, 2010 3:09:24 GMT -5
“Well, yeah, but that’s not the only reason,” he responded with a grin. It was very fortunate that Michael didn’t detect the reluctance that Summer was feeling, otherwise it may have lead to a whole new discussion, only this time it would be a bit reversed. He had a feeling that the conversation they just had wouldn’t be the last of its kind before the trial was over, but he was glad to have a better understanding of what had happened with the trial so far. It would have been impossible to get a good night’s sleep without having talked about it and it would just build up the following day. He hated the fact that he had treated her differently that day and he wanted her to trust that he would be there for her without acting strangely again. He figured that hearing her testimony as well as Scott’s was going to be the most difficult part of the trial and he wouldn’t fair so bad during the next few days.
It was hard for Mike to completely shake the habit of stealing the covers every once and a while since he did have his own bed back at their house. His eyes slowly opened and took a moment to register her words. He turned so he was lying on his back and looked over at her. “Sorry. Maybe I should get my own,” he joked as he smiled at her. A slight nod was given in response to her question. “Yes, I did. You?” He replied, genuinely curious how she had slept now that the trial was underway. He checked the weather and news on his laptop as Summer showered, as usual. His thoughts weren’t too focused on the articles, however. He was a bit concerned about what Summer wanted in terms of his presence at the trial. It hadn’t occurred to him when it was brought up the night before, but after having some time to think about it, he wondered if she truly wanted him there. Well, he knew that she liked his support and everything, but it made sense for her to be a bit worried about how he would react after what happened the first time.
Michael came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, having forgotten his clothes to change into. He wouldn’t think Summer would have any issue with it, just so long as he made it obvious that he wasn’t attempting to sway her mood in a certain direction. He’d be lying to say he didn’t think it helped every once and a while, but he never exactly did it deliberately. He walked back into the restroom after grabbing his stuff and quickly changed. It then occurred to him that the idea of sex had crossed his mind a bit earlier than usual that day. Yes, he did think about it from time to time…probably much more often now as they were able to go a bit further with their intimacy. It invaded his mind at times that he wouldn’t usually think of it, which he hoped wouldn’t end up causing any problems between them. It certainly wasn’t appropriate to be thinking about that at the moment, of course, which was why he forced the thoughts from his head as he exited the bathroom again.
Summer was finishing up getting ready once he was set to go, he grabbed the USA Today that they received that morning and started skimming through the sports section. He wasn’t as religious about sports as some guys, but he enjoyed following them to some extent. Once Summer was ready he set the paper down and wrapped his arms around her once she settled on his lap. It was easy to tell that she was nervous, which was to be expected. Hell, even he was a little nervous, but he did what he could not to let it show. “Yeah, I’m alright,” he assured her with a smile. He really didn’t want her worrying about him when she was clearly in much more need of comfort and support.
After holding her for a few minutes, he decided it would be best to grab something to eat from the complimentary breakfast that the hotel had near the lobby. Before they left the room, however, he decided it would be best to bring up the thing he had been a little concerned about. “Hey, umm…before we leave, there was something I wanted to talk to you about…” he said before clearing his throat a bit and attempting to keep a smile on his face. “Last night when you asked me if I wanted to be at the trial today and…well, I was giving it a bit more thought and…would you prefer it if I wasn’t there? I mean, I don’t want to put more on your plate if you’re worried about me being there. I would like to be there, even though there is no way for me to really know how exactly I’ll react, but if you think it would be better for me to wait outside the courtroom today, I..I completely understand.” It wasn’t easy for him to talk about it because in all honesty he did want to be there, but if Summer didn’t want him to hear the testimonies that were planned for that day, he would find a way to deal with it. This wasn’t about him, after all. He was there to make things easier for Summer in any way he could, even if that meant doing something he didn’t want to do. He was sure she would tell him everything he needed to know about what happened to her. Some of the things that would be said at the trial surely weren’t something he absolutely needed to hear, after all.
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Post by Summer Jackson on May 16, 2010 1:02:10 GMT -5
Over the trip Summer had been thinking about the fact that they still had separate rooms back at home. She had been considering talking to him about moving her stuff into his room and converting her room back into a guest bedroom for the time being. She felt that the whole one bedroom thing was working well for them, with the exception that she woke up cold about every third day, but she’d break him of that in time… or something. She had only felt the need to sleep in separate rooms twice on the trip. The first time with Mike out on the couch didn’t go to well because the bed wasn’t positioned correctly in the room for her to feel safe so in the middle of the night she went out and woke him and asked him to come back to bed with her. The next time Summer insisted on sleeping on the couch instead and still got up in the middle of the night to join Mike back in bed. So, all in all, she felt it may be about time that they slept in the same room and she did doubt Mike would have a problem with that, but she felt she should talk to him about it so he wasn’t shocked to find her stuff in his bathroom. That was also a problem she felt they had worked with too.
“No,” she mused when he mentioned getting his own set of blankets, “it’s hard to cuddle when you’ve built yourself a cocoon,” she teased, pulling at the sheets once again to slide under them so she could move close to him. “All right,” she answered when she was asked about how she slept through the night. “Nothing woke me this time, so I can’t complain too much,” she admitted, giving a slightly shrug of her shoulders as she pushed her face into his chest. It was much better than the night before so she didn’t think Mike could really complain either, unless she was tossing the turning all night and didn’t know it. Summer probably wasn’t hurrying as much as she should have been in order to get out on time to get to the court room early, but it was hard for her to want to get there at all. Her fear was starting to get the best of her again and she was back to wondering if this was a good idea or not, but she couldn’t stop now.
While Summer was putting on her makeup in the vanity area she heard the bathroom door open behind her. She glanced around for a second to see Michael there in nothing but a towel around his waist. She didn’t think much of it though, just gave him a smile and went back to what she was doing. “You’re hot,” she said nonchalantly, half teasing but still half serious as she watched him through the mirror. Of course she thought he was hot, everyone knew she thought he was one of the most gorgeous human beings in the world, but that had to do good things for their relationship. She couldn’t deny that, yeah, seeing him like that turned her on, but he was her boyfriend so there was no problem with that, right? So, yeah, he was right, it “helped” every once in a while and she was fine with that as long as he didn’t try too hard. Sex wasn’t yet on the table as far as she was concerned so she didn’t want to feel pressured in that direction either.
Once she had set herself on his lap she smiled at the answer to her question. That helped, she was hoping he was going to feel decent throughout the day, she hated worrying about him. After being held for a bit she got up to finish getting ready. She was sitting on the floor fighting with the sling back on her heel when Michael started to talk. Her heart skipped a beat when he said he wanted to talk and she was suddenly even more nervous for whatever reason. She listened closely, even though she didn’t spend the whole time looking at him, instead still looking at her shoes. As he finished, and she had her shoes on, Summer reached a hand up to ask him to help her up. “Babe, shh,” she said softly, running a hand over his face before looking away for a moment. “I…” she took a deep breath and a moment to collect her thoughts before trying to speak again.
“I’m not gonna say that I want you there,” she admitted honestly, “but… it’s not that I don’t want you there either. I just… I can’t have you treating me like you were treating me yesterday, that just makes things worse,” she ran a hand through her hair, which was now dry, before walking away from him, her heels clapping against the floor as she went to pick up her purse. “I don’t want to have to explain what happened and I know you have every right to know what… what happened to me with what our relationship is. So… just… if you want to be there, I want you there… just as long as you can handle it, ‘cause I know it’s a lot to hear all at once,” she finally finished with a deep sigh, still looking towards the ground. She put her purse over her shoulder, glancing over to check the clock on the microwave and realizing they didn’t have to worry about being late as of yet.
She moved back over to Michael and finally looked back up at him. “Sound okay?” she asked, biting her lip, “I mean… maybe you should leave if it gets to be too much? If it starts affecting you too much. No one will think any less of you, in fact… my dad’ll probably think more of you,” she only half joked, running a hand over his arm. She hadn’t been expecting the question to come out of his mouth, she knew he wanted to be there and watch the trial so she had been expecting him to do just that, but that meant she forgot how good of a boyfriend he really was. Actually, it made her smile to realize that he was putting her wants over his wants. How did she manage such a catch?
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Post by Michael Brentley on May 21, 2010 1:05:55 GMT -5
Mike turned to face Summer as she responded to his suggestion. “That’s a good point,” he admitted as he wrapped his arms around her. It would be impossible to isolate himself from her while they were in the same bed, so getting a separate set of covers didn’t sound appealing at all once he really thought about it. He figured he’d have to break the habit eventually, once he got used to sharing a bed with her. He could just start wearing more clothes to bed so that he didn’t get cold or whatever, but he wasn’t sure he liked that idea either since he had been sleeping in boxers for most of his life. He was glad to hear that she had slept well. They both knew she needed a good night’s sleep after what she had been going through for the past several weeks. He couldn’t begin to imagine how difficult this was for her, so it was always relieving when she was able to achieve certain things, even if it was just a little sleep.
He couldn’t help but smile over at her when she complimented him in his towel. He knew he looked good since he worked hard to keep it that way, but he was fairly modest about it. Nonetheless, he always loved hearing compliments from Summer since her opinion was the only one that ultimately mattered when it came to his looks. As much as he wanted to walk over and kiss her, he felt it was best if he restrained himself to some extent for the time being. He by no means wanted to take things further than maybe a short make-out session, but doing so probably wasn’t the best option at the moment. His focus needed to be on the trial right now. It was important that he handled it better than he had the day before and trying to avoid thinking about it wasn’t going to help him any.
Michael was a little anxious about what Summer might say when it came to whether or not she wanted him at the trial. He was a bit hurt by her words, but at the same time, what could he expect after the way he had acted earlier? He had more or less brought it upon himself and Summer had every right to worry about how he would react. He nodded to show that he understood what she was saying, but he wasn’t sure what to do. He had every intention on being there at first, but now he was questioning whether it would be a good idea or not. He allowed her to finished and carefully gave the situation some thought for a moment or two. His gaze dropped to the floor for a few seconds before shaking his head and deciding to stick with his original decision. “No, I…I mean, I want to be there. I know it won’t be easy, but I know I’ll regret it if I’m not there,” he told her honestly.
His arms were instantly wrapped around her as she approached him. It had become a habit by now, so it just came naturally. Another nod was given as she explained that he could leave at any time if he wanted. “I think I’ll be okay this time, but I’ll definitely keep that in mind,” he assured her. He didn’t want to be too stubborn about this. After all, there was no way for him to know exactly how he would react without knowing what was going to be said beforehand. It was likely that it would get to be a bit too overwhelming for him and in that case, he hoped he would be wise enough to leave. “You ready?” he asked after he had a moment to conclude his thoughts on the matter to make sure he was set on attending the trial. Once they were downstairs, he grabbed a pastry and some coffee for his breakfast. He also put a few muffins in a small paper bag in case Summer wanted to eat, or if one of them got hungry later.
As they arrived at the courthouse once again, Michael immediately noticed that he was much more nervous than he had been the previous day, but he did his best to ignore it. He knew it wasn’t too late to back out, but as he had told Summer, he knew he would regret it if he didn’t at least attempt to hear the first part of the day’s proceedings. He walked up the steps with Summer and opened the door for her before following her inside where they would meet her parents. Mike concluded that he was simply anxious about what was going to be said that day even though Summer had given him a heads up on some of it. It would be impossible to not be at least a little anxious given the circumstances, right? Surely he would be fine in the end…
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Post by Summer Jackson on May 23, 2010 0:58:01 GMT -5
Summer allowed Michael a moment to think after she finished talking, and listened closely when he finally came up with a response. “Then be there,” she encouraged once again. She really didn’t want him to feel that he should stay away because of her, because that wasn’t what she meant. Sure, a part of her would rather him not listen in, but that’s only because he acted so oddly after hearing the first day of the testimonies. Yesterday morning she really wanted him to be there, in fact, she would have been hurt if he decided he didn’t want to be there and waited outside. However, she was more hurt by the way he was towards her after hearing what had happened than she thought was possible. Of course, she had done what she could to hide the fact that he had made her nervous and uncomfortable, at least around her parents, but that didn’t stop what she was feeling and he had eased her worries with their talk the night before. However, if she could avoid that feeling altogether, that would be better. She wouldn’t mind having another conversation like the one last night, but she would prefer not falling into tears and having the conversation while she was wrapped in his arms this time.
This time when his arms wrapped around her, however, she tensed up for a moment. She hadn’t been expecting him to do that, which was stupid because he always held her when she came close to him. She took a deep breath and forced her muscles to relax and rested her head on his chest once again, mostly to show that she was fine with what he had done even though she had spooked a bit. She was getting better, but there were still those times, especially when they were messing around and he would grab her breast or something like that, but she always relaxed soon afterwards and encouraged his advances. He did make her feel so good, after all, there were just some touches that still brought back bad memories or out old instincts.
“Yeah,” she said after asking if she was ready. She followed him out of the room, just having Boggart follow without even having a hand on his leash. Once downstairs she refused food but did get herself a cup of coffee before once again following Michael out to the car, this time having a hand on her dog. Today she sat in the back with Bogg, just feeling more comfortable cuddling with something, and once she got there she took his hand in hers, holding him close to her as they walked up to the building. This was the building she had to face her attacker in and it would always hold that horrible memory for her. Summer didn’t get the comfort of knowing it wasn’t too late to back out, because for her, it was. She had to do this or Scott was going to go unpunished for what he did to her and she wasn’t sure if she could live with that fact floating around forever in her mind. She needed the law to tell her that she didn’t do anything wrong. She needed to see him hurting through her hand. This wasn’t only about justice anymore, this was about revenge and she felt she needed it if she ever wanted a normal life again. He completely changed and stopped her life, now it was her turn to do the same to his.
Summer smiled as Michael opened the door for her and saw her parents watching for them as they went through the metal detectors, Summer obviously going to where there was a female guard because she didn’t want to risk setting off the detector with a male guard to check everything over. Anyway, they did that then greeted her parents, her mother mentioning how much of a gentleman Michael was to open the door for her, and then they waited. Today, well, they actually had to do all that waiting you always hear about in a court house. Summer spent some time clinging to her boyfriend, wandering around with her mother and listening to her dad trying to get her to eat something. After about an hour she was back to talking with Michael after being told the judge should be ready for them somewhat soon, and her parents went off to call Summer’s sisters to tell them they were going in now and couldn’t be called. Summer and Michael were having a fairly nice conversation, which was something she liked about their relationship. They never seemed to run out of things to talk about and their conversations could be deep and thought provoking or gentle and funny. It was one of these lighter conversations that was interrupted by a voice Summer dreaded showing up on her dreams, much less her reality.
“Oh, I see you still do have curls. I must admit, I like you better that way,” Summer nearly jumped into Michael’s arms after hearing the voice and the seduction he used as well. Instead, she screeched involuntarily and pulled Michael, though an incredibly feat of adrenaline driven strength, so he was between her and the path the attorney was taking with Scott, which was incredibly close to them, so close that Scott could have easily reached out and touched Summer before she had moved, which he did try and caught a bit of her blonde curls in his disgusting hand. She cowered behind her boyfriend as the attorney made Scott walk faster, scolding him, and as Scott was laughing at the reaction he could draw from his victim. Summer whole body was shaking eccentrically, her hands grabbing onto Michael’s shirt with the grip of someone clinging to a ledge for their life and tears were falling from her eyes, but there were no sobs because she couldn’t breathe at all. Yeah, some might say that this reaction was extreme and faked to get attention, but someone who knew Summer around unknown men would know that this was to be expected when the man who caused her fears passed so close and spoke to her in a seductive way, which was threatening to her of course.
It was only just as Scott was out of sight that Victor came running up. “What the hell happened?” he questioned, grabbing Michael’s arm firmly and pulling him back. Yeah, Mike was easily stronger than Victor, but Victor was currently pissed to see his little girl so terrified and helpless that he didn’t care about being nice to the young man she was dating anymore. “I said what happened!” he repeated, giving Michael a bit of a shake as Summer tripped forward, still clinging to her boyfriend. “Daddy stop!” she tried to say as loudly as she could, but it came out as nothing but a high whine, but luckily Victor understood what she meant and released Michael’s arm and reached out towards her, allowing her to collapse into his arms. “What happened,” he questioned again, desperately trying to get her to explain. “He… he was here, gra-grabbed,” and it was with that that Victor thought he knew what was going on. “How could you let…” he started to snap towards Michael before stopping and shaking his head. “Take care of her this time,” he nearly yelled, turning Summer towards Michael before running off in the direction Scott has left, probably to complain to the court system, just find somebody to yell at when he wasn’t around his daughter, which would only upset her more and he knew that.
Summer’s full weight was on Michael and her feet were basically useless at the moment. “I can’t…can’t breathe,” she said between gasping wheezes of air through her mouth. Now she just needed Michael to remember what he needed to do when this happened. Her medicines were all in her purse, and Michael knew that this was the only reason he ever had to go digging through her purse as well. It wasn’t that there was ever anything in there she didn’t want him to see, but she deserved her privacy and her purse was something that was hers. Anyway, she needed her medications and a place to sit down, but she couldn’t think about that now, she would need to calm down before she knew what she had to do to control her attack and by then she may have panicked so much it would be next to impossible to get her into the court room with Scott ever again.
((Yeah... a bit of powerplaying. Hope it's okay, if not, let me know and I'll change it around =] ))
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Post by Michael Brentley on Jun 8, 2010 2:10:11 GMT -5
As they waited in the courtroom, Michael was feeling a little more at ease about the whole thing. He wanted to be there for Summer and nothing was going to change his mind at this point. It was true that she would have her parents to comfort her throughout the whole thing if he wasn’t there, but it simply wouldn’t feel right to wait outside. He knew he would end up feeling more anxious and would constantly be wondering what was said in the courtroom, but would always be afraid to ask Summer about it because he wouldn’t want to bring it up again once this was all over. He wanted her to be able to move on and hopefully live a normal life in the near future. Putting Scott in jail would hopefully help her to do that, but it obviously wasn’t going to be easy to get to that point. There was no way to describe the anger he would feel if Scott somehow got out of this, but so far things appeared to be going well.
It was never a challenge to come up with something to talk about with Summer. It was never awkward between them, which obviously was a very good thing for their relationship. Mike found that it was easy to talk to Summer about anything, which left them with a variety of things to discuss. As he was finishing a comment on the subject, he immediately noticed Summer tense up. He looked over to see Scott walking in their direction and was soon thrust forward so that he blocked the path between Summer and Scott. He instantly wrapped his arms around Summer tightly. Michael quickly tried to wrap his mind around what had happened, simply because it was the last thing he would have expected. What the hell were they doing walking through here? He would have thought Scott’s attorney would have more sense than that. Then again, she was defending a rapist, so there weren’t too many good things to be said anyway.
Before he could begin going through the steps he knew he needed to take in this situation, he felt Victor’s firm grip on his arm. Michael was surprised to be jerked backwards, but kept an arm wrapped around Summer since she moved with him anyway. He was at a loss of words for a moment since he was so taken aback by Victor’s accusatory tone of voice. “Hey, it’s not…” he started, but Summer spoke before Mike had a chance to say anything else, which was probably best. He wouldn’t expect Victor to want to listen to him with an open mind.
He slowly let go of Summer so that her father could hold her and he stood there alert. Michael felt himself get defensive as Victor decided to place the blame on him. He glared at Victor in disbelief, still speechless. Clearly there was nothing he could have done to prevent Scott from walking by and speaking to Summer. He decided it was best not to say anything as he watched Victor walk away. He turned back to Summer as he held her in his arms again and listened as she struggled to tell him that she was having trouble breathing. There was no time to think about what had just occurred, but rather he just needed to focus on getting her heartbeat back to a normal rate. He gently lifted her into his arms since it was clear at this point that she was too weak to walk. He quickly made it over to her purse and sat down on the bench and he fumbled through it. He found her medication and collected the right pills as quickly as he could, but it was rather difficult as he kept Summer in his arms. His grip was loosened significantly to prevent her from feeling too restrained. He shouted to one of the security guards and asked if they could get him some water. It was more than obvious that Summer was having a rather severe panic attack, so one of them immediately complied and quickly left the room. The guard came back a minute later with a bottle of water. Michael gave a quick thanks to her before turning his attention back to Summer.
It took several minutes to get Summer to calm down enough so that she wouldn’t choke when she drank the water with her medication. Michael spoke to her softly, telling her it would be okay and encouraged her to focus on her breathing. It was an absurd thing to have happen, especially since Scott’s attorney should be well-aware of Summer’s condition at this point. He knew there would be those who might think she was faking it, but to him it would be impossible to fake something like this. A part of him wondered if she would be able to make it through the trial that day, but he supposed they could deal with that once Summer was at least calm enough to speak. He did his best to try to remain calm himself, which he knew was crucial in order to help put Summer at ease. It was hard not to give into his anger towards Scott at that moment, but he knew it wouldn’t do any good to show any anger at that moment. However, he was sure that if he was ever in a room alone with Scott, the bastard would be lucky if he survived.
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Post by Summer Jackson on Jun 9, 2010 14:14:06 GMT -5
Summer wasn’t stupid enough to think that putting Scott in jail was going to change everything about her life. That being said, she was really hoping that it would help in some significant way. She wanted to find a job and just be able to start school and not choose her seat based on how she could avoid sitting next to men or without having people at her back. She wasn’t asking much, she didn’t think. She wanted a more normal life but she was decently sure that she would never be “normal”, she just hoped that there would be a point in time when her dog didn’t follow her around everywhere she went and she didn’t pick her checkout line at the store based on which one had a female cashier. That would be nice. She just wanted to get better and had been working on that for three years now to no avail, but during those three years she always had something looming over her shoulder, the fact that her attacker was still walking free and could hurt someone else and she was having a harder and harder time living with that fact with every day she lived. She had to try and she had heard from so many people, from her detectives to her lawyer to the other girls in her support group, that it helped whether she would win or lose. That being said, she would really like to win.
And what just happened was the best way to illustrate why she needed to do this. She needed to call him what he was and hopefully save other girls from what she had suffered through, but beyond that she needed to feel safe again. Sure, she felt safe when wrapped up in Michael’s arms, but she was tired of always needing him to convince her that nothing was going to happen to her. The littlest things caused her to screech and cower and she was done with it. She was going to try whatever she could to make it so that, even if she was scared, she could handle it like a normal human being. She was just tired of it all right now and she knew Michael and her parents were too. Well, certainly Michael right now, after being yelled at by her father over something he couldn’t help.
As Michael lifted her she felt her body tense up instead of relax to make it easier on him. He was the only one who picked her up during a panic attack and though she didn’t mind it she still wasn’t used to it. She wrapped both arms firmly around his neck, her muscles contracted and looking at the ground as if she was fearful she would be dropped. The rare times he would carry her somewhere when she was in her right mind everything was fine and she liked it and easily relaxed in his arms, but in the middle of a panic attack trusting him was sometimes difficult, much less able to relax. She felt better once he sat down, but still clung as he tried to dig through her fairly messy purse to find the medications that were needed. She really though it would make things easier if she started to color code the bottles the pills were in, but she was never able to find containers small enough to do that.
After she took a drink of the water she jerked her head back slightly. “It’s cold,” she complained in a quiet voice. She was used to the water she took her pills with being room temperature, but there wasn’t a problem if it was colder except it caused her to whine a little, but she’d get over it. As she waited for the medication to take its full effect she clung to her boyfriend with her face pressed against his neck and shoulder. She slowly felt her body relax and the shaking was slowly starting to come under control. She breathed deeply, letting the scent of Michael’s cologne, which she always begged him to wear because she loved the smell, calm her significantly. She was still crying, but could you blame her? Her rapist had just touched her. “I’ll be okay,” she said softly as she slid off Michael’s lap, but still kept her legs draped over his, making it obvious that she still wanted him to hold her.
“I hate that he can do that to me. It’s not fair,” she said softly, pressing her face back into his neck. She reached for the water and started to sip at it a little, now happy it was cold because it felt good now that the back of her neck was covered in sweat. “I’m sorry; I know it can’t be fun taking care of me like that. And sorry about my dad, there’s nothing I can really say about that,” she sighed deeply and shook her head. She had calmed significantly, but tears were still falling from her eyes and every once in a while she couldn’t hold back a sob. After a few more minutes of sitting Summer heard a voice she knew and glanced up for only a second before looking back down.
“Now come on Victor, that’s just not fair,” Victor and Maggie were approaching them from behind, and Maggie was certainly sounding pretty condescending as they walked to check on their daughter. “Michael has proven to be nothing but good for our daughter and good to our daughter since he’s been here. He may not have developed eyes in the back of his head yet, but look at him. He’s obviously taking great care of her and all you can do is find any little mistake he makes to try and prove your own agenda. No, let me finish. When will you learn that yelling at Mike only makes things more difficult for Summer? He deserves your respect and at least give him a chance. They’re good together, they even fight effectively. What has he done that’s so wrong?” Maggie finally finished as she reached out and grabbed her husband’s wrist to keep him from continuing forward until he answered her. “But Summer… you didn’t see her, I was mad,” Victor tried to defend himself, but it was pretty obvious that Maggie had the final say of a lot of things in their relationship. “I don’t have to see her to know that it wasn’t Mike’s fault. And you’re still mad, you’re gonna take a walk and calm down, come back here when you can actually have a conversation and are ready to apologize,” and with that Maggie continued forward towards the bench and after a moment of hesitation Victor decided to follow his wife’s advice and turned around to walk around the court house for a little while.
Maggie came up and sat down beside Michael, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You okay?” she asked softly, smiling back at her daughter when Summer looked at her. “I can stay with her for a while if you need to go calm down a bit,” she said, looking up at him, knowing he would have heard at least some of the previous conversation, but also knowing that he may want a second to go punch the wall a few times after what happened, but she also didn’t want to say anything that would make him think he had to leave Summer if he wanted to stay with her to make sure she calmed down, as long as he didn’t show any anger around her either. She didn’t need that, which was why she sent her husband away as well.
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Post by Michael Brentley on Jun 10, 2010 18:12:57 GMT -5
As soon as Summer was able to control her breathing again, Michael’s thoughts began to drift elsewhere. It was then that he had the chance to realize just how much Victor’s words bothered him. They certainly weren’t true of the situation, but it was things like that that drove Michael crazy. Just when he began to think that things were turning around between Summer’s father and him, but he should have known better than to get his hopes up about that. It seemed as though Victor was constantly waiting for Mike to do something wrong, even if he didn’t show it. He understood Victor’s intention to protect his daughter, but blaming her boyfriend for something that was clearly not his fault certainly wasn’t fair. What was he supposed to do, anyway? Act strictly as a bodyguard, rather than her boyfriend? And clearly there was no way of predicting Scott’s presence since it was absurd to think anyone could be stupid enough to allow him to come that close to Summer.
With Summer in a much calmer state, Michael held her closer to him. He nodded when she spoke about how it wasn’t fair that Scott had that effect on her. He knew the bastard would pay soon enough, though, and she would at least have the comfort of knowing he was locked away, if anything. “Nonsense. You know I don’t mind, and it’s always nice when I don’t screw things up too badly,” he said with a smile. “As for your father? Well, I—“ he cut off his words once he heard voices and it didn’t take long to decide who they belonged to. Mike heard enough to realize that Maggie was defending him, which surprised him a bit. Well, he knew Maggie normally gave him the benefit of the doubt, but he hadn’t expected her to defend him so adamantly. That was certainly a relief, especially since Michael knew that defending himself had never worked very well in the past with Victor.
His gaze met with Maggie’s as she approached the bench and he couldn’t help but smile towards her after what he had just heard. As she asked if he was okay, he immediately thought the question was directed at Summer, but soon realized that she had been asking him. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks,” he assured her with a small nod. He took a moment to consider Maggie’s offer, but decided that he would be alright in terms of controlling the anger that he felt. Simply knowing that she was on his side helped immensely and he thought it was likely that Victor would come around as well. “That sounds like a good idea, actually, he said with a nod. He turned to Summer and kissed her forehead gently. It crossed his mind to ask about who Victor talked to and what was said in relation to the incident, but he figured it was best not to bring it up at that moment. Avoiding the subject was by far the best option and he was sure Summer would agree. He slowly shifted and waited a brief second as Summer removed her legs that were resting over his. After standing up and stretching a bit, he looked back at Maggie. Oh, and uh…thanks for sticking up for me and all that,” he said gratefully with a small smile. He couldn’t tell her how much it meant to him for her to do that after all the rough patches he had had with Victor. “I’ll be right back,” he said towards Summer before doing as Victor did and began to take a stroll around the courthouse for a bit.
It wasn’t long before he crossed paths with Victor. Awkward couldn’t begin to describe the feeling that he felt came between them at that moment. “Victor,” he said, mostly for the sake of acknowledging him in a respectful manner. Michael wasn’t sure just how upset Victor still was, but he could only hope that it wasn’t directed at him at this point. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his slacks and moved past Victor before deciding to say something. “You know I’d never let that happen if I could help it,” he said quietly, not sure if it was wise to say anything at all, but the words were still bugging him and he wanted to be sure that Victor wasn’t thinking that Michael was a fool enough to not protect Summer in any way he could. It had been a while since Michael had a conversation with Victor one on one and he was uncertain if now was a good time for it, but he didn’t want there to be any tension between them for the rest of the day. They were supposed to be on the same team, all supporting Summer as she fought to put her attacker in prison.
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